This Really Happened To Me

My “Good” Life Was Full of Pride and Selfishness!

2011-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

Thank you for taking the time to read my personal testimony of how Jesus Christ changed my life.

My name is Emilie Rettig. I was born in Boston, Massachusetts as the middle child in a family of 5 girls. I attended church regularly with my sisters when I was young. As a teenager though, we all decided we didn’t want to attend church anymore.

I had a great job working in a restaurant. As head waitress and banquet manager, I was successful and enjoying life. I thought that this was all I needed. But something was about to happen that would change my thinking and my life!

My boss asked me to attend a Dale Carnegie speech class to help me in my work. I must say that I enjoyed it very much. We were assigned the topic: “The most important thing that ever happened to me.” One young man gave a very unusual speech on that theme. Standing before the class, he pulled a little Bible out of his pocket and announced confidently, “This Book changed my life!” He then went on to tell us how he had accepted Jesus Christ, the Son of God, as his Savior and that God had saved him. I thought to myself, “Saved? …from what?! I don’t need to be saved.” But he had gotten my curiosity with his statement. After class, I peppered him with questions about God and the Bible. When we finished, he literally dared me to come to church. I accepted!

And so, the next Sunday I found myself sitting in a small Baptist Church in Londonderry, NH. I had never heard preaching like that before! I realized how little of the Bible I actually knew. The pastor preached emphatically about being forgiven of sin, knowing Christ as a personal Savior and having eternal life. He said that Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross. I was confused and very uncomfortable with all of this. But inside I knew I needed to hear it. “Did I have eternal life?” I had no idea.

I came back the next week and heard more about being saved. I realized now that there was something I needed to be saved from … my sin. I was full of pride and selfishness and I was just beginning to really see it. That night after the church services, I went home very disturbed. Feeling very guilty and wicked, I looked in the mirror and realized that without a doubt… I was lost. I knelt by my bed and called upon Jesus Christ to forgive me and to give me that eternal life that I had been hearing about.

Since receiving Christ as my Lord, I have never been the same! I have a peace that doesn’t go away, because my sins are washed away, forever. That Book had changed my life too!

That was over 25 years ago. Two years after being saved, I met my husband, Jon. In 1994, after 12 years in pastoral ministry in the United States, the Lord called my husband to Prague, Czech Republic. We have 2 grown boys in the USA and a daughter who lives here with us on the mission field. God has allowed us to pioneer a new work for Him in this former communist, atheistic country. The committed group of believers that we now minister to, continue to grow in the Lord. They are a joy to our hearts and faithful to God. God is “giving the increase” and we praise the Lord that he has given us the privilege of serving Him in this wonderful work.

How A Good Girl Came to Know the Lord…

2011-04-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

By Missionary wife to Africa, Stephanie Norberg

I was a good girl. I didn't "smoke, drink, or chew, or run with the girls that do"--as Pastor Silcox used to say. I worked hard at school, and I worked hard at home. I was taught, and believed, that my good works would outweigh my bad works some day and that I would go to Heaven. Though I believed it, there was no assurance--only a fearful hope.

Grandpa and Grandma Emslie were discouraged with the church they had attended for years and had been looking for a church where the Word of God was faithfully preached. They had visited Bible Baptist Church in E. Grand Forks, MN, but it was a 40 mile drive each way. Then Grandpa died in Feb. of 1969.

During the summer of 1970, when I was 14, my 4 siblings and I were sent to stay with our Grandma Emslie and Uncle Johnny on the farm. We were a handful! I'm sure Grandma got many more gray hairs that summer. Grandma regularly tuned in to a local radio station where she heard a message that Pastor Silcox preached, and it was there that she heard about their upcoming youth camp, just 5 miles from the farm where they lived. She got the necessary information and all five of us were enrolled at camp!

We had morning and evening preaching services at the camp. It was unlike any preaching I had ever heard. It wasn't long before the Word of God convicted me of my sin, and I began to feel miserable. For years I had thought I was a "good girl," but I was quickly learning otherwise. After each service there was an invitation, and it was after the 4th one that I was feeling broken in spirit. For the first time in my life I understood that "a wretch like me" was truly the condition of my heart and life. I stood there sobbing, and a friend offered to go forward with me to talk to someone, which I did. I repented of my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour. That was the most important event of my life, and in awe I continue to thank God for forgiving me and receiving me as His child.

Every summer when I came to visit Grandma, we spent a week at camp and the canoe trip that followed became the highlight of my year. I gained strength from the teaching, preaching and fellowship with other believers. I felt like I had been starving all year and couldn't get enough "food" in fast enough. Salvation changed my life and filled a hunger in my soul that no one else could fill.

After I graduated from high school, I was invited to live with Grandma Emslie, and it was a time of refreshing for which I will always be thankful. I had intended to work and save enough money to attend nursing school, but the Lord had other plans for me...And that's another story for another time!

Miss Goody-Two-Shoes

2011-03-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

I was raised in a Pastor’s home, learning from a young age all the stories from the Bible as well as hundreds of Sunday School songs and hymns. I loved to sing and serve . . . I was a religious pleaser. As I grew older and upon entering my teen years, a real unrest seemed to take over my heart and thinking. I began to despise being a Preacher’s daughter. I felt it placed too many restrictions on my life and I just wasn’t sure I held to the same convictions and beliefs as my Pastor father.

Real rebellion and resentment began to grow in me. On the surface, everyone saw me as compliant and supportive, but away from church or church people, I was anything but compliant. I was dead set on having friends in the world and being accepted by them. There is only one way for that to happen and that is to become like them; do what they do, talk like they talk, go where they go and on and on it goes.

Between the ages of 14-16, I found myself living in warfare against God. The world was tugging at me, but each time I heard the Bible preached , I was convicted in my heart about the double standard I was living. I was a perfect example of Matthew 6:24, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

In a nutshell, I was miserable! The few short, fleeting moments of acceptance that I experienced from my worldly friends, did nothing to dispel my unrest. The satisfaction I gained from being like them… was short lived at best! I was learning very quickly that I was going to have to make a choice! I really thought in my heart that I could be a “half-way” Christian – enough to get by on Sundays and still be my own person, making my own choices, in my own way, the rest of the time. Little did I realize that just my desire to “be my own person” was rebellion against God’s authority over my life.

Unknown to me, during these months of wrestling with God, there were people who were concerned for me. People who saw my struggle and people who were praying for me. My “goody-two-shoes”, “straddle the fence” image was not being very successful. That is how it is, around real Christianity. Real Christians have what the Bible calls, a “spirit of discernment”.
Hebrew 5:14 “But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

Not only were the people I was trying to please figuring me out, but the Bible itself was revealing me to be a phony. Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

I now had come to the place where I had to deny that the Bible was even worth taking seriously so I could resist its authority over me, or I was going to have to submit myself to it and do what it says.

My struggle continued because I was not yet at that place of repentance…the place of willingness to turn from sin and my self will. Every day I gained less satisfaction from my “friends” and their carnal ways. You see . . . even up to this time, my friends in the world couldn’t get me to smoke or drink or do the things that always accompany that kind of lifestyle. I really was a “Miss Goody-two-shoes” in their eyes. What kept me from doing the things they were encouraging me to do? Even though I had done them hundreds of times in the secret places of my heart, I had not done them physically, yet. It was the teachings of the Truth and a fear of God that was instilled in my heart as a daughter growing up in a solid Christian home, that held me back from ruining my life and purity. How I thank God for that upbringing!

Finally on April 22, 1968, at the age of 16 ½ I was done running. As a matter of fact, I was tired of running and fed up with the sin that actually gave me no satisfaction at all! My tormented spirit was worn out. I was now willing to do what the Bible said in Acts 3:19, “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out . . .” That’s what I wanted and needed. I wanted to be a changed person, a converted person – forever! After what the Lord Jesus Christ did for me, how could I not accept His great sacrifice by faith, and turn from my sin? Was my sin really worth rejecting Him? After all, it was for my sin that he went to the cross to begin with.

I knelt down that day in our church nursery, with my dad kneeling next to me and poured my heart out to the God I had been fighting against for so long! I asked Him to forgive me, to cleanse me from my sin and to do a miracle that only He could do, in my heart. I wanted Him to change everything in me that was not pleasing to Him. I did what Romans 10:9,10,13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

I was now a changed girl! Repentance is a turning away from sin and the path you were going. That is exactly what happened to me because that is exactly what I WANTED to have happen! The things I used to hate – I now began to love. Now I hungered for the Bible and to be around spiritually minded people. I couldn’t get enough of it.

Romans 10:11 says, “For the scripture saith whosoever believeth on Him shall not be ashamed.” I was no longer ashamed of being a preacher’s daughter. I was no longer ashamed of saying I was a Bible believer. I have never been the same person since that day. My life has been an evidence of the truth of II Corinthians 5:17, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

My friend, Christ can do the same for you. You just have to WANT Him to, and LET Him do it. All our good works will not earn us a place in Heaven. Being religious will not save you from sin. Only through repentance – that deep sorrow over your sin, and placing your complete faith in God and His Word, the Bible, will get anyone get to Heaven. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Over forty years have passed since that life changing day! Dear friend . . . I want you to know the peace and joy that I have come to know. The Bible is not just a book of literature. It is the Word of God, preserved for us so we can know forgiveness of sin and the true way to Heaven.

Luke 13:3 “I tell you nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”

II Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

Too Late?

2011-02-02T06:32:00.000-08:00

After hardening my heart for so long, I finally got saved on October 29, 2008 ! It was Thursday night of our Fall Revival with Bro. Curtman. I have known for such a long time that I was lost. Lately, I even began boldly admitting it to others and sometimes using it as an excuse to do wrong. "I don't have to act like a saved person if I'm not.", I reasoned. How arrogant!! Each Sunday and Wednesday, and every special meeting, I would be in church. I was raised there. I liked being there. I haven't missed very many church services in my twenty six years and that too, became a source of pride for me.

What I wouldn't admit was, that each service I attended, was a gift from God...another opportunity to be saved. I wasted so many chances and sometimes, convicted to tears, I stubbornly refused to accept God's gift of salvation that He paid such a high price for. So many services God's plan of salvation was presented to me and explained in so many different ways that the Lord knew would speak specifically to me, and yet I would let His Spirit convict me, but then stubbornly refuse to admit fully what I had done and who I really was, before a Holy Righteous God. I knew I was lost and I cared about that fact... to a point. I understood the brash evil of saying boldly to the Holy Spirit of God, "Stop it". I saw the pain on the faces of my family and friends, yet my stubbornness persisted. What folly!!! Who was I kidding? God already knew all about me and even knowing that, I still refused Him and quietly did my best to ease my conscience.

That's where I was. Here is the rest of the story....

Sometime in the last few weeks, I don't remember exactly when, it began to occur to me, that when I was in the middle of another altar call invitation time, that I would say to myself and to God that, "I have to think about this more at home". God was working in my heart even then. That eased my conscience a bit about not responding right when I knew I should. When I would get home to "think about it", I would reason that "my thoughts are not good enough, I need to be hearing preaching". My intellect had worked me into a circle of just not ever dealing with it. This was the pattern for a very long time.

Then in Sunday School of the Revival, Bro. Curtman preached on "The Insanity of Sin". It clicked in my mind! I had been practicing the insanity of sin at every invitation! Several of Pastor Shaffer's messages the last few weeks and months have been about the end times and just how close the end really is. This terrified me because I knew my true condition. Still, I stubbornly and foolishly refused.

Slowly, I came to realize that I did not have many chances left. Many other people were feeling this same way about me! When the altar call came that Sunday morning, once again I still refused. It was then that the Holy Spirit began to bear down on my heart. I thought that God was sure to take me out, unleash His wrath on me and I would get no more chances. I realized that this was more than just, on God's part. He had already given me more chances than I deserved. What more did I want? I was scared, but not enough to do anything about it.

I was convicted again Sunday evening, Monday evening and Tuesday evening. There was a certain knowing, growing in me that said, "you don't have long left Sarah". God did not have to put up with me any more. Pastor extended the invitation one night and I was under so much conviction! I knew I was lost and I knew I was being stubborn. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't admit to my own stubbornness and how it was keeping me from salvation. For a long time I refused to see that my problem was me and my sin, and not some psychological issue that I had.

Finally, Tuesday night as I was on my way home, still under conviction, my sister asked me if I even cared that I was lost? I answered, "Yes, but not enough". She said something that stuck with me. "I don't think you have many chances left Sarah, and I'm not the only one who thinks that." That confirmed to me that the growing "knowing", was not just a feeling, but it was God, warning me. All day long, I was sure that I was done. God had given me so many chances that I had rejected. He didn't have to give me any more. I was almost expecting to die that Wednesday! But even that wasn't enough for me to bend my will. Then when Bro. Curtman preached on Proverbs 29:1, "He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.", I knew that God was saying, "This is it, Sarah. Listen up. It's for you and if you don't get saved tonight, you're done". In the message that night, God's messenger started talking about God's abundant mercy that so often reproves us. I saw God's great goodness to me and my great sin against Him, in hardening my neck. Remembering that salvation is a choice, I decided that I didn't want to harden my neck anymore. I didn't want God's wrath on me and I didn't want to waste His goodness to me anymore. I kept thinking, "God, if this is real, keep going. Don't let the conviction stop."

By the end of the service, I was ready to go immediately to Mrs. Shaffer and ask her to help me get saved. I didn't want to do it wrong. Even in that, I was wrong, because I still wasn't trusting God to do the work. But...He is merciful and I came to see and understand that He could and would save me, because He said He would..in His Word. He gave me another opportunity and I fell on my face before Him and asked Him to forgive me for throwing His love back in His face all these years. I trusted that He would do the work in me and He did! He saved me!! It's real!!!
Wow! Now I have God's Spirit living in me. Why He would want to do that is beyond me, but He does and He is! Praise the Lord! He is abundant in mercy, forgiving wretched me and letting me be His child. Wow! I'm saved and I know that I am!

But For The Grace of God

2011-01-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

Growing up in a home where the Bible was the first and final answer for all things in life, I knew from an early age of the love of God in sending His only Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for the sin of all mankind. I also knew I was included, as I too, was a sinner. As many children are, I was still very sensitive and eager to please. Therefore, the knowledge that I too would be condemned to hell unless I was saved, became an increasing concern to me. So, at the age of eight, at camp, away from my parents, I was led in praying my first prayer. I had all the information needed and "understood" it in the very factual way that a very sheltered eight year old would. I was extremely afraid of hell at this time, and that was, no question about it, THE motivating factor in my first, young profession of faith. Satan is no fool. Though we don’t encourage young professions here, and certainly not the easy-believism that has spread through this country in the last century; this false profession would lay groundwork for future confusion and cynicism in my life.

Skip forward about five years to my young teen years. By now, there was no question in my heart that I really was not saved, but lost. I never admitted to it, with my mouth, but my life certainly proclaimed it loud and clear. Around eleven and twelve years old, I become increasingly concerned with the lack of peace I felt. I was very afraid of where I’d go if I died. Still blind to the reality of my sinful heart, (I knew in my head I was a sinner) I was confused why "the prayer" had not worked when I was eight. This, coupled with the rise of my sinful will as a young teen, led me from confusion, to cynicism, to downright rebellion.

From age thirteen to sixteen years old, I grew more and more rebellious, and it became increasingly hard to project the sweet, little pastor’s daughter image I felt everyone expected. This thought also furthered my anger and rebellion, because I felt that who I was, kept me from doing what I really wanted to do.

I can not underestimate the power and influence of some friends I had at this time as well. I do NOT in any way, blame any of my actions and attitudes on them, as they only provided an outlet for me to show what I really was, but my rebellious thoughts and actions were empowered when I was with them. I have many painful memories of things thought, said and done during this time. Looking back, God’s mercy is most amazing and beyond comprehension to me, during this time. He, THE omnipotent God, Who holds all power, glory and honour, allowed me to profane His Holy name and completely make light of His love and mercy extended towards me. I actually came to a point during these years, that I hated His still small voice, when I felt the Lord speaking to me during a salvation message. I am ashamed to even admit that. God should have sent me to hell then. I had and have been given SO much.

BUT GOD. I am so grateful God’s ways are not our ways. I WOULD be dead now. I cannot fathom God’s mercy and longsuffering, but I would be in hell now, if not for it. When I turned sixteen, as part of God’s merciful, loving plan for me, I was able to spend time with another pastor’s daughter I had not seen in years. She was a little older than I, and we had a lot in common personality-wise, besides the fact, we were both pastor’s daughters. God’s mercy and her testimony of Christ to me during this time really helped shift my heart back towards wanting and seeking true salvation. I saw Jesus in her. She had the real thing and it showed in every way she lived. I had some of the most fun with her, and it was always good, clean fun that didn’t leave you feeling empty and guilty. I wanted what she had! She wasn’t boring and didn’t possess a pseudo-spirituality. I could sense the constant peace and joy she had, and I craved that in my own life.

It wasn’t long after this time, that friends I had who were negative influences in my life, were no longer part of my daily life. Again, I see the Lord’s hand and goodness. I began to read my Bible and ask God to reveal Himself to me. About a year from this time, I made a profession of faith again. I remember how I wanted to be saved SO badly! With everything in me, I wanted peace and joy in Christ rather than what my sin had been giving me. Leading up to this profession, I became very analytical in my search for true salvation. I had seen countless, worthless professions in other teens and adults, and had my own meaningless eight year old profession. I didn’t want to get the same thing again. I’m reminded of the verse in Job, "And Satan came also..."

And he did. Though I couldn’t have been more sincere in my seeking and ultimately in my second prayer, I did not receive true salvation. The intense desire I had for the real thing led to many changes in my life and it was this I clung to for three more years, trying to convince myself I was ok. But I still lacked the peace in my heart I was looking for.

Finally, I admitted to myself and my parents that I didn’t believe I was saved. Even they were a little surprised I think. After all, my attitudes and actions HAD changed so much. I had WANTED to be and do all the right things I had always been taught, and for the most part, it wasn’t too difficult. But I did not have THE Holy Spirit bearing witness with my spirit.

I again began seeking and praying to God that He would show me what I did wrong. Why didn’t I get it?! I was so sincere! Some of the hardest times of my life were these three years. Internally and emotionally, I went from bad to worse. Rather than gaining clarification as I hoped, I became more and more confused as I reasoned within myself and didn’t know what to think after a while. I felt hopeless, depressed and wished I hadn’t been born. If it hadn’t been for God’s grace again preserving and protecting me, I can only imagine what could’ve happened to me during this time. I can see now that much of the protection, (physically and spiritually) came from still being under my parent’s authority in the home. If I had been outside that umbrella of protection, I believe Satan’s influence on my mind and consequently, my actions, would have been far greater and very likely, disastrous in my life. I really began to see how weak and frail I was during this time. The Lord mercifully began showing me how self-sufficient I had been, all along.

Even in my sincerity when I prayed, I realized I was looking to myself for the assurance I was seeking. I thought if I REALLY, SINCERELY repented, I would finally get the real thing. My big problem was ME! I was trying to get salvation, just like any other religious person tries to get it. By doing everything just so and by being sincere. I was creating my own works salvation! I really never completely and utterly forsook the entire, sinful package called "Cherith Shaffer." I was really, in all reality, trusting the Baptist religion to save me.

Isn’t Satan clever? We who know it is "not by works of righteousness which we have done" can just as easily be deceived. And it’s really not rocket science for Satan. He just uses his own well-developed, deceptive abilities and our own depraved heart, and there you go, he’s deceived another one.

When I finally saw this truth and the Lord again, MERCIFULLY convicted my heart, I knew NOW was the day of salvation. I would not waste another moment "pondering" (doubting, really) about it. The truth was there. I was so full of pride, God couldn’t save me before. I remember sensing a struggle before I prayed this last time. Between Satan and my own depths of self and sin, it just seemed so hard to just let go, and so simply - Trust God. I remember finally just feeling angry with myself at that point. I was sick to death of Cherith! Cherith, who was just too self-righteous to let the God of the universe take COMPLETE control of her life AND her afterlife!

It was then, October of 2002, I literally felt like I threw myself off a cliff into God’s hands, turning from ME. Me, with all my pride that manifested itself in a million different ways. From my rebellion in my teen years, to the doubts and fears that had plagued me since I was first aware of sin. I didn’t want anymore of the old me. I wasn’t looking for warm fuzzy feelings, but I sensed a peace and assurance because I knew I had finally turned completely from the old Cherith and given everything over to God . If God, the Maker of the universe, can’t save and keep your eternal soul, who, pray-tell, can? It really is just turning away from your self and sin and turning to God, no reservations. God didn’t make salvation hard. WE are the ones who make it hard! When we find it just too hard to let go of ourselves - our will, our thoughts, WE then make it impossible.

God IS loving and longsuffering, not willing that any should perish. If we would all just take a good look at the course of our lives so far, we would see the mercy of God, guiding and protecting us, not willing that ANY should perish. Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:" Don’t wait too long if you are yet lost. God IS loving and longsuffering, but He is also just, and there will be a time when His justice will say, "Enough." Every day that passes, is of a certainty, a day less to trifle with your own eternal soul.

A Missionary's Wife Gets Saved

2010-12-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

Written by Pat Christenson

As a child I remembered praying to God at least twice to "save me," But it wasn't until I was 33 years old and had been a missionary wife in Mexico for 9 years that God in His mercy helped me realize from what I needed to be saved!

All those years I had been relying on a prayer for my eternal security - yet I had never truly come face to face with my sin. The Bible speaks volumes about belief (faith in Christ's payment for our sin) as opposed to doing some good work to "earn" salvation. I had no problem with that! But the Bible is also very clear that belief must come with repentance, a “changing of mind,” as it says so clearly in Mark 1:15, “Repent and believe the Gospel.”

1 never remembered being truly broken-hearted over my sin and seeing it the way God does until that moment as a young adult. I do remember thinking until then, “I'm not so bad," and vowing to put things behind me and go on. But deep inside, my thoughts were not right. God said that if one hates in his heart, or thinks lustful thoughts, he is a murderer and adulterer (1 John 3:15, Matthew 5:27). I needed to face that and realize that I was only a helpless sinner deserving nothing but God's just eternal punishment.

On April 8, 1988, I thank God for truly breaking my heart over my sin and helping me realize how lost I was. It was not until my sinful pride was broken that God could give me new spiritual life.

Oh, not a lot changed on the outside, for sure. I was already trying to live by the Bible. But my thoughts and attitudes were changed by God! I now study the Bible out of a desire to be drawn closer to God, not as a daily duty. God has helped me to be more patient, and think more about others. No, I'm not perfect, but I thank God that I am now forgiven!

Please don't deceive yourself as I did for so long. God wants to save you from your sin and its penalty, eternal spiritual death in hell. “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord,” Romans 6:23 “And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire; this is the second death,” Revelation 20:14. “God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance,” 2 Peter 3:9.

People Pleasing Pride Kept My Soul in Torment

2010-11-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

Written By Kristen Cobb

Four years ago on a canoe trip I made a profession of faith. It was not real. I “prayed a prayer” but that was all it was.

I have grown up in church and I knew that getting saved was the right thing to do. I knew all the right words to say and I honestly believe that I did want to get saved that night. But my reason for getting saved was wrong. I made a profession only because I knew it would make people happy and not because I thought I needed to be saved.

It didn’t take me long after that to realize that nothing I said that night was real. Now it was too late and now there was no way I was telling everyone that I was not really saved. I told myself that I was just having doubts and that Satan was trying to discourage me. For over three years I told myself this. Every time Pastor would preach and the Lord would convict me, I would just say it was the devil, or maybe the Lord was just putting a burden on my heart for the lost around me. For a while that worked to appease my conscience. I was able to convince myself that the conviction I felt was not really for me. I still knew in my heart that I was not saved but I would not admit it to myself.

The devil does not care how many professions of faith in Christ you make, or even how close you come to real salvation, as long as you never truly get saved. As long as you never truly get saved…he still owns you.

After a while I started to pull away from people. I pulled away from the church and my family. I was afraid that if I was around anyone too much, they would start to figure out that I was not really saved. My pride said that if I told people that I wasn’t really saved, they would be discouraged and disappointed. I was more concerned about pleasing people than pleasing God!

For a year there was a terrible war going on in my heart. It was a battle between my flesh and the Lord. Then I heard a message about the rapture and the preacher said that he thinks it is going to happen soon. After that sermon, I was scared to death! I knew that if the rapture did happen I would be left here. I couldn’t even sleep at night. I was so scared that when I woke up everyone would be gone so I just stayed up all night just to make sure my family was still here. I was miserable…but I thought it was too late for me. I thought I had lived a lie for too long and that there was no way I could admit now that I was not saved. Satan was feeding me so many lies and in ignorance, I was believing them!

Then in March, the Lord really started to work on my heart. He took away my job and my computer, the two things that I would use to distract my mind so I didn’t have to think about getting saved. I stayed at home with my mom and we would talk. My mom loves to talk about the Lord! She loves the Lord so much and every day she would tell me how amazing the Lord is and what the Lord had taught her that day. The Lord knew
exactly what I need to hear. Even though my mom didn’t realize it at the time, God was using her words to help me.

Because my computer was gone, I started to read my Bible at night. Slowly, the Lord started softening my heart. Then, on April 29th, I went out with two of my friends and the whole time we were together, they talked about their salvation and how they got saved. I just sat there listening to them and almost wishing they would just stop talking or at least talk about something else!

When I got home that night, I sat on my bed for hours. I told the Lord that I was sick and tired of living a lie. I begged Him to show me what I was missing. It was almost like hitting a brick wall….God showed me that even if I was the only person on earth, He still would have had to come and die on the cross for ME! My whole life I had heard this. Now I was face to face with the fact that it was MY sin that nailed Him to that cross. He showed me how ugly my sin really is to Him and when I saw it, it made me sick. I saw myself as a terrible wretched, people pleasing, sinner, and in spite of all that, God still wanted to save me.

I knelt down right there and told the Lord that I give Him everything, every part of my heart, my every desire, my every dream…He could have it all! I begged Him to forgive me for my sin and to come live in my heart. He could have it all! And HE SAVED ME!

My life is different now. I see things and people differently now. I’m changed and I now live with the peace of God in my heart. I’m saved and I know that I am.

From the North Dakota Prairie to a Village In South Africa

2010-10-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hi, I am Jackie Wyatt. I am a missionary wife to South Africa. I am a mother of three grown children who are now living in North Dakota. Two are married and the third one will be getting married this coming June.

I was born and raised in Northwood, North Dakota. My family attended several different churches, of different faiths while I was growing up, such as Methodist, Nazarene and Lutheran. At the age of 13 our family was invited to attend Bible Baptist Church in Grand Forks, ND. At first I didn't want to go. My brother and sister and I were attending the Nazarene church in Larimore, ND at the time and I felt that if my parents went to yet another church, they may attend for awhile, but then they would stop going and we wouldn't be able to go to church anymore. I liked going to church and didn't want their changing churches, to cause us to have to stop altogether.

But we ended up visiting Bible Baptist on a Sunday evening. The church was quite small then. The pastor's family actually lived in the building where they had services. It was different from anything I had ever heard before. The message was great, the people were very friendly, and there were girls my age there! There was lots that I liked. We started attending on Sunday evenings and I could tell that there was something different about these Christians. They seemed to have a faith that affected their whole life.

In July, they were having a youth camp. My parents gave permission for us to go. It was a great week just being around Christians for five whole days. But as I watched their lives I knew that I didn't have what they had. I wanted that and I also wanted to belong. So during the week, I made a profession of faith. Not a real one, but I wanted a testimony like everyone else had.

For the next four years, I tried to live the Christian life. Some of it was possible. But yet… the pull of the world was stronger then my tie to the church. God protected me from doing anything that would destroy my life, but He allowed me to see time and time again, that a non-Christian cannot live the Christian life for long. He continued to speak to me about my life and I began to listen.

On December 5th, 1972 at the age of seventeen, I sat in a morning worship service. Bro.Silcox preached a message on “Nothing but Leaves”. Having an outward show of being a Christian, but not having the fruit in your life. As I sat there and listened I knew he was describing my life. An outward show, but no real fruit, because there was no real salvation. As hard as it was, when the invitation was given, I could not be still. I had to walk down the aisle and tell a personal worker that I was not really saved and that I wanted to have the real thing. She showed me verses from the Scriptures and in repentance and faith, I asked the Lord to forgive me of my sin, of my pretending to be a Christian and to come into my heart and save me and He did! What a joy to know it is for real and to now have the Lord to help me live the Christian life instead of trying to do it within my own power. A week later I followed the Lord in scriptural baptism and started living the Christian life….. for real.

The following summer at camp I surrendered my life to the Lord for whatever He would want it for.

A year later He called the man I knew was His will for me to marry, to be a missionary in South Africa. We have now been in Africa for over 28 years. What a great God we serve, who can use a girl from the farm in North Dakota, to help reach people around the world!

All Little Girls Want to Go to Heaven

2010-09-02T14:45:00.000-07:00

"How many of you little girls want to go to Heaven and see Jesus?" One Sunday morning in Sunday School, this was the question the teacher asked her class of five year old girls. Like everyone else, I eagerly responded with the uplifting of my hand. The teacher then instructed each of us to repeat after her the words to a simple prayer and then she pronounced that we were all saved. For the next ten years of my life, I felt secure and I became very active in my service to God rarely missing a single service. As a teenager, I attended every youth activity and camp, I sang in the choir and during the summer helped with Vacation Bible School. There wasn't anything I would not do when asked.

At the age of 15, this security and happiness disappeared. As I listened to sermon after sermon, I became increasingly frightened of dying and going to hell. But then I would recall the incident when I was five and I would tell myself that I was saved. For months I was tormented with the question that kept repeating itself in my mind, "Are you sure you are saved?" I would cry myself to sleep each night asking God to save me if I wasn't saved. But that did not work. I found no assurance or peace. During every invitation, I found myself wanting to go forward, but I couldn't make my feet move. I kept telling myself, "How can I go forward? Everyone thinks I am saved. What will they think of me?" I was feeling all this conviction and I was too afraid to do something about it and too afraid not to do something. I was miserable.

The Sunday night two weeks before my sixteenth birthday, the conviction I felt during the invitation was so overwhelming, I forced myself to take that first step into the aisle. An amazing and wonderful thing happened--I seemed to float the rest of the way to the altar. In tears, I knelt at the altar realizing that at the age of five I did not understand repentance of my sins. I also realized that the reason I did not receive comfort from my feeble attempt each night asking God to "please save me if I wasn't saved" was because I had to admit that I wasn't saved and that I had to repent of my sins. The woman who dealt with me at the altar tried to convince me that I was saved and was just experiencing some doubt. Through my tears I almost had to shout at her that I was not saved and I was not leaving the altar until I asked God to forgive me of my sins and to save me for all eternity. After doing this, there was instant peace in my heart and that peace has been there for forty years.

That was a dangerous question for a Sunday School teacher to ask a group of sweet and innocent five year old girls who only wanted to please their teacher and to some day go to heaven to see Jesus. I thank God that He watched over me during those ten years when my soul was in danger. I thank Him for giving me the courage to take that first step and I thank Him for making me His child, not as a little girl, but as a woman. When my life and service to God on earth has ended, then I will "Go to Heaven to see Jesus."

Belinda Gabbard ( husband-Coleman Gabbard)
Our Missionary wife to New Zealand for 22 years

Deceived

2010-08-02T17:00:00.000-07:00

by Susan Nemoseck

I grew up in California. My Mom and Dad took us eight children to church every Sunday but it wasn’t until I was fifteen years old that I was introduced to the Bible. I knew nothing about the Bible or what being a Christian was all about. All I knew was what the Catholic Church taught me. I thought that since I attended a Catholic church and did what they said, that that made me a “Christian”.

My first contact with true Christianity came when I met Raymond, my future husband. He was not saved at the time but his parents were. There was something different about them but I had no idea what it was. It was later that I learned that what I was observing was real Christianity being lived out before me.

Just before I got married, Raymond joined the Air Force and we were moved to Cheyenne, Wyoming. The first time my in-laws came to visit they wanted to go to church. We located a Baptist church in town and attended. Oh my, was that uncomfortable! I felt like the preacher was talking directly to me and I didn’t like it! An usher gave me a card to fill out and I folded it up and put it in my purse. I did not want that man visiting me! A friend told us of another church and I started going there by myself. I made a profession of faith and from that time on thought of myself as a “Christian”. We were not faithful church attenders and I had some pretty erroneous ideas about myself and sin.

In 1981 our son David was born and our daughter, Jennifer was four years old. My husband was hot for an overseas tour so he put in for places he was interested in. Japan was first on his list. I did not want to go because I wanted a place where I could understand the language. I thought England was the place for me but God knew better. He had His own plan.

It was in Japan that I came in contact with Lynn Shoemaker who put us in touch with the people at Yokota Baptist Church. We began to faithfully attend church and we began to hear much preaching with an emphasis on sin, repentance and faith and I began to doubt what I had done five years earlier. The Lord was working on my heart, peeling back the layers and preparing me.

One day we got a letter from Raymond’s sister Marcia. She wrote that she had just gotten saved. She saw herself as a sinner before a Holy God and repented of her sins. God used her letter to open my eyes to my own sin condition. I always thought of Marcia as a good Christian. She was always in church, never gave her folks a hard time and lived a Christian lifestyle. She even went to Bible College and taught in a Christian School. Her conversion shook me to my foundation. If she wasn’t saved, for certain I must not be. A longing began to grow in my heart. I wanted to know for sure if I was a true Christian. I began to beg God to show me and then I started searching the scriptures for answers. The Lord led me to start reading the book of I John chapter 1. Verses 8-10 just jumped off the page at me.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.”

It was then I realized that I was calling God a liar since I was saying I was not a sinner. God was not the liar…I was. These verses showed me that I was a sinner. Now I had to make a decision. Will I remain in my sins and die without Christ? Was my sin worth holding on to? I started going over what I thought I had done in my profession of faith years earlier. What did I do? I agonized for days on this. I had so many confusing questions but in the end I had to ask myself if all the questions were going to keep me from doing what I needed to do and that was REPENT! I was miserable.

Finally, on April 4^th, 1983 I responded to an altar call at church. I wanted so badly to have my sins forgiven and know it. That day, I got down on my knees and asked the Lord to forgive me of my sins and to be my Saviour. Praise the Lord He forgave me!

Romans 10:9-10 “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

Since then, my heart’s desire has been to please God in everything I do. I am not perfect for I’m just a sinner saved by the Grace of God. I’m so thankful that I know it!

My Doubting Days are Over

2010-07-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Written By Jennifer Nemoseck

I was saved when I was nineteen years old after much personal struggle and two false professions. One of the hardest things I had to overcome was coming to the realization that I was lost and in need of Christ. You can’t get saved until you see that you are lost in your sin.

When I was six years old, I had made a “one, two, three, pray after me” profession of faith. This brought confusion into my life and I went on thinking I was saved until I was fourteen years old. Dr. Al Lacy came to preach at our church and I began to doubt that six year old profession. He was preaching a lot on hell and I was scared I might go there if I wasn’t saved. One night I talked to my mom after church and told her I was afraid I wasn’t saved. I didn’t really listen to what she was saying about salvation, repentance and faith because I felt I already knew all that. After all, I had the Romans Road memorized because I had witnessed to my friends before. I told my mom that I wanted to pray and get it taken care of. So…like a magic prayer, I prayed a “Lord, if I’m not really saved-please save me” kind of prayer and threw in that I was sorry for my sins. I had fixed the problem I thought! I even got baptized again. From time to time I was still confused about when I actually got saved and this continued for the next five years or so. This kind of prayer really took no faith on my part.

When I was eighteen years old I began to doubt my salvation again. At that time I began to really search and examine myself and my previous professions. I slowly came to the conclusion that I was lost. What a revelation that was! Once I came to that conclusion and admitted it to myself, I then had another decision to make… What was I going to do about it? Once I realized I was truly lost I knew I could stop the “good two shoes act” because if I was not a true Christian why act like a saved person? Why did I need to keep on doing what was right anyway?

I struggled with these attitudes and many others as the months went by. It was a very hard year. My confusion got deeper. I wanted to get saved but at the same time I was enjoying my sin. I was not desperate yet. Somewhere along the way in my struggle, the Lord showed me that I really was a sinner.

I have had a verse hanging over my bed for years that held the truth to my struggle for salvation.

I Timothy 1:15 “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”

I had memorized this verse and used to read it every night before I went to sleep. I cannot tell you why I had that verse hanging over my bed all those years, but God knew why it was there. The day I finally read and understood that I was the chiefest of sinners was a life altering moment. Now I had to decide if I really wanted to turn away from my sin that I had been enjoying. Satan tried even harder to bring in confusion and I would get frustrated because “I couldn’t get it right”. I didn’t realize it then but as I look back on it now, I can see that I hadn’t come to the end of myself. I wasn’t ready to turn from my sin and come to God on His terms. I was still trying to come to Him…my way. I was trying so hard to make sure I did everything just right so I wouldn’t make another false profession and all the time missing the main point! I am a sinner! I had to want salvation more than I wanted my sin!

Finally, on a Sunday in September “the light came on”. An illustration was given in the message of a limo that was broken down on a very busy freeway. A man stopped to help them and when he was done, the man in the limo asked him how he could repay him. The man replied, “All I ask is that you send my wife some flowers because tomorrow is our anniversary.” The man in the limo agreed and the next day the repairman’s wife got a beautiful bouquet of flowers. In the attached card was this message: “Happy Anniversary! P.S. I paid off your mortgage.”

That is what Christ did for us; he paid off our mortgage of sin. All you have to do is put your sin into a big, huge garbage bag and lay it at Jesus feet and leave it there, believing that He can save you all by Himself and with no help from you or anyone else.

I got saved that Sunday. Nothing was holding me back and I was finally at the end of me. I haven’t been perfect but my desire since that day has been to please the Lord. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a born again, child of God. I have a peace and joy that I never had before salvation.

What a wonderful thing to know that you’re saved!

True Happiness

2010-06-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

By the time I was seventeen, I realized something was missing in my life. The only label I could put on it was happiness. At that age, people always ask "what do you want to be after you graduate?" The only aspiration I had was to be happy. My parents didn't seem happy so I concluded marriage wasn't the key. Being a student with good grades didn't do it. Drinking definitely didn't bring happiness. What would?

I decided that having someone to love and take care of me would bring me happiness. So I began dating. It was so thrilling and wonderful to be the object of someone's attention! It was everything I had hoped for until a week after my 18th birthday. I had found I was pregnant. Whatever "happiness" I had thought I found was over. Reality was staring me in the face and laughing. My boyfriend insisted on an abortion, I just numbly followed his lead. On the third of January I watched as the remnants of my child was sucked from my womb. From that point on, my life turned sour. I had no hope. Drinking, which I had despised until then, seemed to ease the pain for a while. My relationships soured, I couldn't accept anyone's love after what I had done. I went ahead and went to college. It was easy to fall into the partying scene. My life just became one long worsening nightmare filled with all the things the world has to offer those who are hurting: drugs, alcohol, sex.

Spring of 1990 found me at the bottom of myself. I had had two more abortions during those last five years and was now trying to pick up my life after an abusive relationship. I couldn't understand why I was alive. Some of my friends had been telling me about God. They said God had a purpose for my life. I decided it had to be true because I certainly shouldn't still be alive. I concluded that I had better find out what that purpose was. I began attending church. My boyfriend and I went together sometimes. I unknowingly began trying on religion to sooth my conscience. During this time I became pregnant again. I couldn't bring myself to have another abortion and eventually my boyfriend and I got married.

It was immediately crystal clear that we didn't have clue one about marriage. In the midst of the fights and slights and insults, we turned to a preacher for help. He began teaching us from the Bible.

For the first time I was studying God's Word, and my sin became a heavier and heavier burden to me. One day in October, I just happened to be reading Ezekial 16. The Word of God smote my heart. I realized my sinful state and told God I give up my life. I would do whatever He wanted me to do, I had been the boss of my life and completely messed it up. I told Him that I would even get saved if that's what He wanted. Suddenly into my head popped the memory of a scene from daily Vacation Bible School when I was 12. I had asked Jesus to save me and come into my heart. So surely I must already be saved, I had prayed the prayer. I didn't get saved that day, but I sure believed I was. However, I kept my promise, and from that point on, whatever I learned from the Bible that God required of me, I tried to do it.

This pathway of obedience changed the outward sins, but it couldn't change my heart. I was still miserable, although there was a certain Pharisee-ical satisfaction to be had from living piously. My marraige didn't change except to maybe get worse. We had more children but I couldn't see them as much more than added burdens. This was the time we moved to North Dakota and began attending a great church.

My pride came to the surface here. I patted myself on the back because I had so much "on straight". I wore the proper clothes, I read my Bible almost every day, I even prayed for hours at a time. But that allusive happiness never materialized. My health was failing from all the stress in my life and no matter how I tried, I just couldn't quite be one of the crowd at church. I always had a feeling that I was outside, standing at a window watching, but not part of it all.

God was really dealing with me. I was under conviction all the time. I just couldn't quite place my finger on what was wrong! I was trying to do all I knew to do right! I was pushing myself beyond my limits to please God but His acceptance never seemed to come.

Finally, God got through. When I really compared my life to what the scriptures said a Christian ought to be, I couldn't measure up. God's power was not prospering my life, I was doing everything on my own. That day I chose to believe God would save even me and I decided I wanted to be saved. I asked Him to and He did!

Why did I get saved that day? Because I obeyed God. He said that I had to repent of my sin and place my faith in Jesus Christ. His Son came to earth, died, was buried and rose again so that I might have eternal life. But if I had already repented and prayed before, why didn't it work? Because we must repent first! I did ask for forgiveness as a child but I hadn't repented of sin. I did repent of my sin as an adult, but instead of putting my faith in the person of Jesus Christ, I was relying on my prayer to save me. It took me a long time to realize that what I had was just a profession, not a possession. But when I did, God saved me just like He said He would.

Immediately I could sense a difference. The fighting against God was over. The constant arguing with the Holy Spirit ceased. I could see how He had been trying to tell me for months that I was lost but I kept insisting that I was saved. The thought "Oh, but I'm saved, I'm sure I'm saved" had been a part of my thinking for so long, I was surprised when it was gone. Another thing that was immediately gone was the weight of my sin. The guilt was gone! Praise the Lord, it was gone! I wanted to tell everybody!

Outwardly things changed too. For instance, my marriage started to get better. For the first time, I didn't have to react to everything my husband was or wasn't doing. I had a calmness, a peace that was steadying somehow. The next thing I noticed was that my attitude towards God was completely different. He was no longer this harsh task master watching me with whip in hand, ready to smack me whenever I did something wrong. Instead, God loved me! He saved me! I was accepted! I was no longer on the outside looking in, I was of the beloved now. My perspective had totally changed.

My love for my children changed. I had love for them. I saw them in a totally different light. They became special and precious to me, I found myself watching them, as if I had never really seen them before.

Finally, from the moment of my salvation, I have never been alone. God's always there for me. I'm not by myself trying to cope with life, making decisions, etc. No matter if I fail or succeed, God's comfort is there and He is so gentle. He never derides me or criticizes me. He just gently reminds me of what He desires for me and that I need to get up again. Being born again is like nothing else in the world. It is true happiness.

Viki Griffith

A Sad and Searching Heart Finds Jesus!

2010-05-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Written By Claire Hall

I have an amazing story to share with each of you. It is a true account of how I came to know Jesus Christ, who is now the Lord of my life.

In the past, God seemed very distant to me. Somehow I perceived that He was all-powerful, but I didn’t know if He loved me. I learned very little about God from the churches I attended while growing up. I had noticed that different churches had different beliefs about God and how they worshipped Him. I had read some pages from the Bible one time, but I didn’t really comprehend it.

The Bible was not used in our home or in all the churches I went to. I grew up in the Philippines’ until age twelve and the one thing that my family practiced was the canas, which was a ritual of butchering pigs to sacrifice to the spirit of the dead. There were times when they would dig up the bones and I remember having nightmares from seeing these. I was afraid a lot.

Life to me was empty. Everyday was just another day. My parents were both very busy with their workload and there were times when we kids would be by ourselves at home. There really wasn’t much teaching or training given to us.   My life was unstable. My self-worth was very low and I had no goals or direction for my life. We didn’t have a close family so I didn’t receive a lot of love or support. I actually had a false idea of what love really meant.

I made a disaster out of my life. I made many poor choices that led to many problems. I began to get frustrated, bitter and angry. Because I was a selfish person, I did what I wanted to do. Having money, going shopping, and going to movie theatres was my life. My security was my boyfriend.

Life began to get harder as my problems got worse. I had unmet expectations that I couldn’t handles and I became an emotional wreck! I considered committing suicide many times. I was just enduring life …day by day. I really thought my main problem was that I didn’t finish college, because I could have had a higher paying job. I thought that would make everything better.

One day my sister-in-law invited me to the New Testament Baptist Church. At first, I was uncomfortable, but this was where I heard about the Gospel. I kept going to church because God spoke to me there. He was working on my heart. I was still stubborn. I had a cynical attitude toward people and especially toward my husband.

I didn’t know if God could save me, but one day He opened my eyes and heart. I began to understand. It was almost as if some mighty, bright light came into me. I began to see my sins the way that God sees them. I realized that my real problem was a sin issue . I had been concentrating on my husband’s faults and sins….instead of my own. I began to see my sins as grotesque in God’s sight. I began to see that a “Christian” was more than just a nice person who went to church a lot.

I remember the day when I decided that I didn’t want to live in sin anymore. One particular service, as I listened to the preaching, I knew for sure that God was talking to me about my sin and my need of salvation!   On December 12, 1999, I repented of my sin and placed all my faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone, to cleanse me from my sin.

The Bible explains the conditions to salvation:  “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken spirit; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18

That was me!

“But without faith it is impossible to please him. For he that cometh to God must believe that he
is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

I believed His promises!

“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them
out of my hand. My Father which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10:28-29

I now know Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. I have fellowship with Him in prayer.

I love growing in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. As I read His Word daily, go to church on Sunday and hear preaching, I am spiritually fed.   I have a new life with Jesus Christ.  He has given me peace that this world could never give me!

My life is now filled with love and joy. I have security and stability because of God and His Word. The Holy Spirit is teaching me how to be a Godly wife and mom and I no longer live in a state of fear like I used to.
Through my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, I am learning to love my husband unconditionally. Christ is the center of our home and we’re trying to bring our children up in a Godly direction. I want to live a life with blessings to pass down to my children instead of family curses. I don’t want to waste time with sin anymore!

II Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, He is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

I now have a desire to reach others for Christ. I found NEW LIFE in Jesus and you can too! Nothing in this world can ever give any soul eternal life. If you were to die today, do you have that blessed hope of going home to heaven? If you want to be saved…you must do it God’s way through repentance and faith.

Luke 13:3 “I tell you , nay; but except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”

One Mixed Up Woman Meets the Mender of Broken Hearts

2010-04-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Written By Dianne Cobb

It's hard to not share a bit of my past life when talking about how I got saved. I don't like thinking about what it used to be like, because I like the new now, a lot better!

Before I got saved, I was fearful and angry at the whole the world. I grew up in a messed up family. My parents were divorced. My mom left one day and never came back. My new mom didn't like me and to top it off, my dad was a divorced and remarried pastor.

What a huge ball of confusion I was! Growing up in a preacher's home, I heard a lot of "church" talk and "religious" words. All I knew was that I didn't want to go to hell. I was scared to death of God and the devil. In my little girl mind, all I really wanted was to know God loved me and could see me and help me. I wanted to believe that so bad.

But, I wondered if my parents who could see me struggled to have a hard time loving me, then how could God, ever love me? I was convinced I was not worth it and there was something wrong with me.

I can't remember a time when I was not painfully aware that I was a sinner. I was told this often and I'm glad for that now. I knew I had to tell God I was sorry. So I did that every night before I went to sleep, or there was a thunder storm, or I was afraid. I must have "gotten saved" a thousand times when I was a little girl.

I was so afraid that Jesus was going to come back and I was going to be left behind. I had no peace and it made me angry that I didn't know how to make things right with God. I thought there had to be something I could do, that was good enough and right enough, for God to notice and love me for it.

I didn't know these verses then:

Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

After my dad got out of the ministry I was almost a teenager. I remember my dad trying to find a church for us to go to. Back then, there were not many churches that wanted a divorced and remarried former pastor in their church. We went to a lot of different churches trying them out. Most of them didn't want us. I came to the conclusion that church people were some of nicest
and meanest people on the earth! This made me wonder what being a Christian was really all about. Because we had gone to so may different churches --I became even more confused. I tried everything these churches told me to do. I prayed prayers. I took catechism classes. I got baptized. I tried to speak in tongues. I tried it all. But, nothing filled the empty place in my heart.

By time I was a teen I had a pretty judgmental spirit. But, I still felt the same way I did when I was a little girl. I just wanted to know God loved me… Dianne and could see me and help me. I knew something was missing. I longed for the truth and began really seeking the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:13 " And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

I am so thankful for the things God allowed in my life. I am amazed how He led in my life and brought me to a place where I could hear the truth about my sin. I'm so thankful that the God of the universe--- the God who created everything, saw my seeking heart and helped me.

I met my husband at church of course. He was the nicest guy I'd ever met and he came from a wonderful church going family. For a girl who felt like she was from the wrong side of the tracks so to speak, this was a big deal. We got married and the Air Force took us to Germany for three years. While we were there, the only English speaking church was an Independent Baptist church. So that's where we went and that's where we heard the truth.

I'd never been to that kind of church before. Most churches I had gone to told me I better be careful because I could lose my salvation. There was an invisible line somewhere and I better not cross it. This caused a lot of fear in my heart. I knew I could never stay good, long enough to keep myself saved and I hated living that way.

This preaching was different. It was right from the King James Bible. The preacher talked about repentance and faith. He talked about eternal life. He talked like it really was-- a forever thing. I started seeing things differently. I began to think that maybe there was a purpose for my life. Maybe God could love me. Maybe being a real Christian was different than I thought it was.

The night I got saved. I had come to a place in my life where I had stopped blaming all my problems and attitudes on my past and on others. I was in a church where the truth was being preached every service. Not man's opinion or just religious talking but truth, straight out of the Bible.

The night I got saved I knew God was speaking to my heart. I was so convicted about my sin I almost didn't know what to do with myself.

I saw my sin and how ugly it was. My unbelief and pride were huge. I couldn't justify myself any longer by saying I would trust God and get saved if it were not for my parents or my messed up past. It was my sin that put Jesus on the cross and I knew it! It was my sin that was so wicked in God's eyes. I had a choice to make that night. Either hang on to my past, my pride and unbelief or give everything to God.

I repented of my sin that night. When I prayed I told the Lord that I didn't know how it all worked, but any faith I had… I put it all in Him! And... He saved me! He gave me a brand new life and a brand new heart. He didn't just fix up my old beat up scarred and broken heart. He gave me a new one!

I love these verses in Psalms because this is exactly what God did for me the night I got saved.

Psalm 40:2-3 "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD."

God took me out of a horrible pit of confusion, fear, anger and sin. He gave me a reason to live. And I have been singing a new song ever since.

I'm so thankful God reached down and saved a sinner like me. I owe Him everything I am, everything I have and every moment, of every day I have on this earth.

Face to Face With My Own Bitterness

2010-03-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

The Lord began dealing with my heart when I was about nine years old. I would go forward every now and then and talk to someone about salvation, but I never really got serious about it. When I was about 17 the Lord was beginning to show me that He was real and that this salvation through His Word was real. I knew how to get saved, I knew exactly what to do, but my pride kept me from bending my knee and asking the Lord to forgive me. I turned 18 and toward the end of June, I had a terrible nightmare. I saw Hell and the fire in it and I saw Satan and then I saw myself being tossed into Hell with many other of the unsaved in our church. Never before had I been able to see myself or anyone else I knew in a dream, but in this dream I saw myself distinctly, along with many others that I knew.

That dream scared me, but I didn't tell anyone about it. That is when the Lord showed me that heaven, hell, sin and salvation is a very real thing. This salvation is not something to be trifled with. He showed me that salvation is not something you can just blow off. On July 6, I went with the teens and singles of our church to summer camp. On the way to camp we crossed over a very long bridge. I was soooo afraid that we were going to fall into the water and I would die and go straight to Hell. But, we made it to camp safely though. The first day of that camp Pastor Shaffer told us that we need to pray and ask the Lord to take the wall down from around our hearts and for Him to really speak to us that week.

I realized then that I had never actually prayed that prayer before, so I sat down and seriously prayed that the Lord would take the wall down from around my heart and take the blinders from my eyes. I really wanted to come to that place of repentance and faith. God answered my prayer! The second night of camp, Pastor Sickmeyer preached on the eminence of Hell. You will never know how scared to death I was that night. We had a thunderstorm and I thought we were going to be blown right off the side of the cliff. I couldn't stand it any longer. Fear had quite a grip on me. I asked the Lord to really speak to me on the third day. Before the preaching started we sang and one of the songs we sang was "I'm saved and I know that I am" and I couldn't sing it. I felt like a hypocrite. Bro. Sickmeyer preached on bitterness that night and it rang a bell in my heart. At the invitation, he had all of us stand and asked for anyone who would like to speak to Pastor or Mrs. Shaffer, to come forward. I went forward and spoke to Mrs. Shaffer. I went in to talk to her about my bitterness and came out a saved individual! We began talking and I began to see that what I had been bitter about-- was all a lie that Satan and I had made up together. It wasn't even true and I had held on to that bitterness for almost 5 years! The Lord had just shot down my only reason not to get saved. But I still would not bow and ask the Lord to forgive me. then Mrs. Shaffer read Proverbs 6: 16-19 "These six things doth the Lord hate: yea seven are an abomination unto him: a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

After thinking about it, I realized that I was every single one of God's seven abominations! But my pride was still too big and Satan kept telling me this couldn't be real. Finally Mrs. Shaffer said to me, "You have the audacity to judge people who didn't even do anything to you, but you will not judge yourself enough and humble yourself enough, to get down on your knees and ask the Lord you have sinned against, to forgive you?" That was it! I couldn't take it any longer I humbled myself and got down on my knees and pleaded with the Lord to forgive me. I poured my heart out to the Lord. He gave me the faith I needed and he saved my soul that night. On July 8, 2009, the Lord Jesus Christ saved my soul and gave me a new life. To this day I still cannot understand how the Lord could love me so much. It is a miracle and I praise the Lord that He gave me that last chance. I gave my life to Him and I pray that it will be all about Him. I no longer want this life of mine to be about me and what I can do, because I can do nothing on my own.

May the Lord get the glory from this life of mine. I know that my life will not always be easy, but I also know that the Lord is mine and I am the Lord's. He can do with my life what He pleases and may the glory be His.

The Day Had Finally Come…

2010-02-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

The day had finally come. The one that I had dreaded my whole life. Being born as a slave, I knew that one day I would stand before a world of hateful, angry men and listen as my soul would be auctioned off. I stood with my head bowed, hands and feet bound in chains and waiting for my turn to stand on the auction block. I closed my eyes and prayed with each painful heartbeat that somehow it was just a terrible dream and that I would be back at home working beside my family. As I felt blood drip from my hands where the chains had chafed my skin raw, I knew that the terror had only begun. The slave master gave a quick jerk to the chain that caused all of us slaves bound to it, to stumble. Now it was time to face the auction block.

The auctioneer started with the first slave, asking for a bid from the crowd. On down the line he worked until he came to me.

"What is this slave dressed in rags worth to anyone?" He sneered at the crowd.

"I can buy a dog that would be worth more than her!" one called out.

"I am not going to waste my time or money on her!"

The taunts and jeers kept coming. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry. Crying would only intensify the cruel accusations. As I stood there trembling, listening to what the world had to say of me, all of a sudden everything ceased.

I was afraid to lift my head to see why everyone was silent, but curiosity won out. A Man had entered the room and was walking toward the auctioneer. I stopped. This could not be Him. I have heard about Him before and what He did for those who stood in this humiliating and humbling place where I was. Things like this did not happen to me.

As He reached out His nail-scarred hand, I knew that it was Him. The whole crowd watched in silence as He asked for the deed.

"What is this slave worth to You?" the auctioneer snarled.

"She is worth everything to Me. I paid for her with My own blood on that old rugged tree so many years ago. I am just claiming what is rightfully mine." was the simple answer.

The deed was handed over, and I watched Him sign "Jesus" in red, on the bottom. The auctioneer grudgingly gave Him the key to my chains. Jesus took the key and then turned to me. I have never seen such love as I saw in His eyes. No one has ever cared for me like that. What came out of His mouth shocked me even more. "Will you be free?"

Would I be free? What kind of question was that! I had heard how He healed the infirmed, set prisoners free, and bought slaves out of the bondage of sin. How foolish of me to stay in my chains of sin any longer!

"Oh, would You…?" was all I could say. He slipped the key into the chains and set me free.

I will never forget this day. I had lived a life of wickedness and sin, not realizing the bondage that it had put me in. I was going to do what I wanted to do, and no one was going to stop me…until Jesus came!

It all started in January of 2007. For six months, the Holy Spirit had been convicting me of my sin, His righteousness, and the judgment to come. For six long months, I had resisted, thinking that tomorrow would bring another chance. In June, our teens went on a teen trip to the mountains of Colorado. On our way up the mountain pass, I begged God to speak to me while I was away from the world for that week. The whole week of preaching went by and on the last night, the Lord opened my eyes to see where my sin had really led me and what it had done to myself and to others. I saw myself as a desperately wicked sinner who deserved to go to Hell. I deserved to be sold to the world… serving sin and its cruel masters.

But God, in His love and mercy set me free, when I repented of my sin and put my faith in Him. He broke the chains that held me bound, gave me a new purpose for living, and promised to never leave me alone.

Why would a Prince care for a slave? I will never know, but I am so glad that He did!

My Condition Required a Physician...

2010-01-02T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hi my name is Theresa Lange. I'm a missionary wife to Thailand and I'd like to share with you, my testimony of salvation.

My condition required a Physician: The Great Physician.

First He began showing me my need, and then He met my need...

While in my second year of college, God began showing me that academics, activities, and athletics could not give me lasting joy. I had from the world's perspective, an ideal relationship with my boyfriend and a strong faith in my religion but I could not find peace within my heart. I was unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and there was a void in my life.

I kept myself very busy, so that I could forget about this hollowness within me. In the '92-'93 school year, while attending NDSCS in Wahpeton, ND, I began to notice the convictions of my new resident director. Her standards were higher than mine and she was never hesitant to talk to others about God. She made me feel uncomfortable, because I had always compared myself to others to gauge how good I was. I didn't match up to her Christianity. She would invite folks to church and have Bible studies with the other college students. I would see her reading her Bible in the student lounge of the dormitory, when I went for my morning run. She seemed to live above the circumstances in life with a smile on her face and a genuine concern for others and not herself. God was using her to draw me to Him. I wanted what she had.

I thought that if I started inviting dorm students to my church and if I began to read my Bible and pray that I would get what she had. She had a close walk with God which was evident in the way she beamed with joy and in her desire to have Bible studies with us which showed her true concern for us. We could come to her when we had a problem and knew that when she said she would pray for us-- that she would.

Later, the following spring, I graduated from the two-year college and began attending Moorhead State University. I tried to continue to raise my standards up like those of my old resident director and continued to read my Bible and pray each day. Also, I began trying to get some distance between me and sinful vices. I tried to distance myself from my boyfriend and others in order to not be pulled into sin. I really wanted to get close to God.

Through this, God was showing me how sin did not come from without, but from within my own heart (Matthew 15:19). Sin was still ruling within my heart. Worse yet, all the Bible reading and prayer did not help me to get closer to God. It seemed like God was unattainable, distant, and aloof. Being in a state of spiritual darkness, I groped for anything that seemed spiritual. Thus, attending church during the week to supplement going to church on Sunday seemed only logical. God was showing me that even my devotion to my religion was not able to help me change to get victory over sin or to have closeness to God.

Still however, when push came to shove, I was still trusting in the goodness of self and my righteous acts to take me to heaven. Somehow, I thought that surely all the good deeds and how good I tried to be, would out-weigh the bad that I had done.

Finally, in the spring of '94, God brought someone from the Fargo Baptist Church to teach me the Bible. One evening, while studying the Bible over the phone, one thing particularly struck my heart. It was the sword of the Word of God. After reading Hebrews 4:12, the person having Bible study with me said, "God is a discerner of the heart. He knows what sin is there even when others don't." This was a revelation to me. I was trying to live right outwardly, but in my heart was sin and God could see it! I couldn't fool God. I had fooled myself and other campus students into thinking that I was a pretty good person, but before God I was GUILTY. For the first time I saw myself the way God saw me; as a sinner, offensive in His sight (Romans 3:10, 23; 6:23; Isaiah 59:2). None of my righteous acts could merit me heaven (Ephesians 2:8, 9; Titus 3:5). They were only as filthy rags in His sight (Isaiah 64:6).

Only putting my complete trust in Christ could save me (John 3:18, 36). In order to place my complete trust in God to save me from an eternity in hell, I needed to let go of the trust I had in myself and in my religion to save me, and place all my trust in Christ (Acts 4:12). I needed to be willing to let go of my sinful ways in order to embrace Him with my whole heart (Luke 13:5). That night I surrendered to God making Him my Lord, the ruler of my life. His Word, the Bible would need to direct my ways, not my own-thinking. That night, April 4^th, 1994, upon calling on Him to become my Lord and Savior, God saved me from the destruction I was headed for – hell (Romans 10:9-10, 13; Revelation 21:8).

God has continued to shape and mold me through His Word, other fellow Christians, and the circumstances he has allowed in my life (2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:29). He uses these to seek surrender in all areas of my life to His control. He desires to have my whole heart.

God Is So Good

2009-11-02T20:01:00.000-08:00

My mother died when I was eight. Up until that time, I felt we were a “good Christian” home. I thought I was a member of the church we went to, because my parents went there. If you were to ask me when I was a teenager if I was saved, I would have told you that I got saved when my mom led me to the Lord when I was eight. To be honest, I can’t even remember if there was ever a time when my mom actually sat down with me and “led me to the Lord.” I even told Bible camp leaders that my mom led me to the Lord, just so I could be a junior counselor for a week.

When I was ten, my dad remarried and life changed 180 degrees. At first, we still attended the same church as before, but as time went by, we dropped out. My parents found another church to attend and after a while we dropped out of church attendance again. Other than the yearly Bible camp I attended, we really didn’t go to church for most of my teenage years.

I ran away from home three or four times, with the last time being permanent, when I was eighteen. It was then that I found out that you can’t run away from your problems, because they only get bigger that way. I had a mouth like a sailor and absolutely no peace or joy. I was a full blown rebel inside my heart.

In my Junior year of High School, the Lord began to deal with me. First, I wanted to know, if you could really KNOW, that you were saved and on your way to Heaven. How did people know that for a certainty? I also wanted to go to church again, but I did not think that if I asked, that I would be allowed to go… so I didn’t ask.

In my Senior year in High School, I signed up for the Air Force. I was terrified of a job interview and I wanted out of the house fast! I wanted a date for basic training in June and instead, I got one in August. The thought of being at home for a whole summer did not appeal to me. So, I moved out (ran away) in March of my senior year.

A family took me in and became my “adopted parents.” They took me to church and helped me clean up my act a bit. I “rededicated” my life to God, but there was still no change inside. I still hungered to know, if you COULD KNOW, that you were saved. How could I know that for sure?

With much fear and trembling, I went to basic training. I received no mail from anyone for the first five of the six weeks I was there. I was lonely. When I got to Tech School, I promptly wrote to everyone in my address book, sharing my new address. I wanted to hear from somebody! Anybody!

Again, when I arrived at Grand Forks AFB, in North Dakota, I did the same thing. This time the people who ran the Bible camp we went to as kids, sent me a Bible correspondence course. The first one was on how you could know that you were saved! It described repentance as a change of mind and it told me how I needed to repent of my sin against God. So, I followed the instructions in that Bible study. In January 1996, I got down on my knees in my Air Force dorm room and asked God to forgive me of my sins… and He did! A great weight fell off my shoulders! 1 John 5:13 says “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may KNOW that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” I came to a place where I finally KNEW!

However, because I was not attending a good church, I did not grow much in my new life. I didn’t understand many things and I didn’t really read the Bible. I did have a very hard-to-read NIV Bible with all the verse numbers in and amongst the text. I had a hard time reading it and following along when I heard preaching too.

I really began to grow, when my husband-to-be found the New Testament Baptist Church in Larimore and we began attending. I even bought a new King James Version of the Bible! I finally had the whole Bible and one I could read!

The Lord has been so good to me! I thank Him for what He has done in my life in spite of who and what I was! I can see now how His hand was guiding me, even when I could not have cared less about Him. He used some hard situations in life, to bring me to a place of repentance. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted.” Ps 119:71a It brought me to a place of seeking after the Lord.

I’m a blessed woman today!

God Can Do The Same Thing For You

2009-10-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

This month we are featuring the true story of our missionary to Uganda, Brother Bryan Stensaas. He and his wife Cheri are missionaries in this African country and work among the pygmy people.

This dramatized story was featured on Pacific Garden Mission's "Unshackled" program and we are pleased to share with you, what God did in the life of this wonderful servant of the Lord.

To listen to his testimony, just go here.

God can do the same thing...for you!

I Surrendered My Pride and He Gave Me Purpose for Living!

2009-09-01T15:41:00.000-07:00

My name is Melissa Lehman. I was raised in Abilene, Texas and married my husband, Lynn, in 1989. He is now retired from the military and we love living here and serving the Lord.

The Lord has worked in such wonderful ways in my life. As I think back over my life, I think I always had a heart to know God. I knew He was there and I wanted to know Him, but I just didn’t know how to go about finding Him.

My brother and I would walk to a nearby church for Sunday School, but it wasn’t anything we did that regularly. So, I went through my life doing my own will. I gave little thought to pleasing God. I mostly had the idea that if I was good enough, I could go to heaven.

As I entered my college years I experienced a devastating relationship break up and found myself calling out to God to help me. Although I was a totally lost person, I look back on that moment when I sensed His love for me and He gave me the help I needed. I will be eternally thankful to God for that.

A year or so later, I met my husband Lynn. We didn’t go to church very often but we promised each other that we would, when children came along. After the birth of our first child, I found myself in prayer constantly, just thanking God for the precious gift of this child. I was as lost as I could be, but I knew that it was only the Lord that could have given me such a perfect little gift! About this time, I began to seek after a church to go to. What I found was so watered down. I always left them feeling empty. I look back now and see that the Lord used them to begin teaching me some of the basics. I had been taught throughout my life that baptism was necessary for salvation. Now I was learning that baptism had nothing to do with salvation. It is just an act of obedience.

When our oldest son, Alex, was four years old, he acquired a lot of bruises all over his body. It turned out that his platelets (the clotting factor in the blood) were so low that he was bruising spontaneously. They took an x-ray to rule out a tumor in his chest. They saw something on the x-ray that concerned them and they medevaced Alex to another hospital. They thought he had leukemia or some other cancer. I remember thinking, “Lord, I know he is Yours and just on loan to me. Thank You for whatever time You have given me, with him.” As it turned out, God took care of this scary health crisis and everything went back to normal. I was so grateful to God!

Finally, the Lord led us to NTBC. I remember not really liking it at first. (There was that old pride thing again…) I liked Pastor and believed he spoke the truth, but I didn’t like the dress standards or how the Sunday School and Children’s Church were run. I am horrified to admit it now, but I confronted Mrs. Shaffer about it once. She was quite gracious about it! I wasn’t satisfied with her answer and I went so far as to seek a different church. (More pride…) We just were not impressed with any of them and soon came back to NTBC.

Now, all this time I thought of myself as a saved person. I was a good person, wasn’t I? Pastor would preach and name a sin, and I would think, “Well, I’ve never done that!” I never murdered anyone and I never committed adultery. I was good enough for heaven, wasn’t I? (more pride…)

Then the precious Holy Spirit began to do His work on my heart. He would convict me and convince me of my sin. I would get a flash of a sin I’d committed and see it the way God saw it. It began to horrify me!

I remember when the Lord showed me what I had done in attacking Mrs. Shaffer. I went to her and apologized. She told me that she never held it against me at all. I told her I felt as though I had been asleep spiritually and was just now waking up. The truth was…I was just waking up! I was seeing myself as the real sinner that I was.

Then I heard the Pastor preach something that I had never heard before. It was about a word called, “repentance”. It was a new concept to me. I learned that it was a turning from my sin. I was counseled with after that and told that it was a complete turning from sin. I couldn’t stand sideways looking back at my sin and also be looking forward, toward salvation. I had to be willing to completely turn my back on my sin and completely turn toward the Lord’s gift of salvation! I had to have real sorrow over my sin and what it actually had done to Christ as He hung upon that cross. Every vile, wicked thing I had ever done and would ever do in the future, was poured out upon Him! He bore the punishment of it all! He did that--all for me! It wasn’t enough just to want to escape hell. I had to really change my mind about all sin and see it the way God did.

It was at this time that I really began to read the Bible and to diligently seek to know the Lord. I really struggled with seeing my sin the way God saw it. I had justified my sin for a long time and convinced myself that I wasn’t really that bad of a person.

I remember hearing a horrific story on the news one day about a man who had charged into a church youth group meeting and murdered several teenagers. How horrible! The Lord used that to show me that the smallest sin in my eyes, was just as evil as what that murdering man had done to those teens.

That’s when it hit me that God sees ALL sin that same way. Sin is sin.

There are no big sins or little sins. They are all bad and deserve to be punished by God. I remember when my heart finally broke. Pastor was preaching about a people that rejected Jesus Christ as Lord. I recall how my soul cried out to God, “I don’t want to be one of those people”!!! You couldn’t hold me down when the invitation came! I wanted nothing more to do with my sin! I wanted Jesus and Jesus only!

After that day, my entire life changed! It was like night and day. I had new desires and new goals for my life. I only wanted to please the One who died so that I could have eternal life. And I still do!

A Personal Relationship Made All the Difference!

2009-08-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

My name is Laurie MacArthur. I was raised in Glenolden, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia. My family and extended family went to church regularly and many of them called themselves Christians. At the age of five I asked Jesus into my heart too, and then again at twelve years of age…“just to be sure”.

As a child, I was very compliant, but by age sixteen I ran away with my boyfriend, Steve. Surprisingly, our parents allowed us to be married and we moved to Tucson, Arizona, where I completed my senior year of high school and Steve joined the Air Force.

From 1976 to 1984, we were stationed at Vandenberg Air Force Base in California. Slowly, at first, I was drawn into the party scene until one day I came to my senses, or what was left of them. I began to recognize the fact that our two young children needed a fulltime mom. As was my habit through the years, I “recommitted” my life to the Lord and pressed on with life, never doubting my salvation.

In 1984, Uncle Sam sent our growing family of five to Grand Forks, North Dakota. What a culture shock! Nevertheless, I was glad for a change and looked forward to a fresh start. Even though friends told me what a good mom I was as I took my kids to church, taught Sunday School, and lived a decent life, inside I was unhappy and full of regrets which, in time turned to bitterness.

By 1993, our family had grown to eight and we bought our first home in Niagara, ND. New Testament Baptist Church in Larimore was close, so we started attending church there. We noticed some differences from our previous church. The King James Bible seemed to be the only Bible used, and the ladies always seemed to wear skirts. For months I had tried to study the NIV version, but it was like reading a story. It didn’t speak to me like I thought it should.

After five or six months of coming to church and hearing the preaching, I decided to read just the King James Version of the Bible for 1994 to see if there really was a difference. Immediately God’s Word began to speak to me personally, as I studied on my own and also checked out the passages that Pastor Shaffer preached from to see if they made as much sense at home as they did in church.

Soon it became evident that something wasn’t quite right and it began to occur to me that I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Oh, I knew He was God’s Son, that I was a sinner, and that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners. Along with many of my friends and family, I could quote scriptures like, John 3:16 and Psalm 23. I prayed, read my Bible, went to church; surely those were actions of a saved individual. So why didn’t I have peace inside? I begged God to show me why not, and, more importantly, how to get it.

Finally, on April 20th, 1994, after much soul-searching, it came together for me. Trying to do things Laurie’s way or someone else’s way, and not the Bible way could never work. Just knowing I was a sinner wasn’t enough. Lots of people k now they are sinners and never do anything about it. Not until I saw my sin as so vile that Jesus had to die for me personally, then realizing that my sin was so awful that it separated me from God, could I call out in repentance and faith to a Saviour Who is fully capable of forgiving my despicable sin.

In the earlier professions, I had never repented or changed my mind about my sin because it was never that bad in my eyes. Trusting Jesus Christ to be my Saviour meant being willing to give up all my sin. I knelt and prayed, confessing my sin and asking for forgiveness. I asked the Lord to take that sin and told Him that I wanted Him to be Lord of my life. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought about my decision. I only cared about what God wanted.

When I told my family about my new found faith in Christ, they were skeptical. They really didn’t believe that I needed to be saved, but as they have watched my life since 1994, they have seen a difference in me. Praise God! They have seen my love for the Lord grow, as well as my faith in what He can do.

My love for my husband has grown too, and because God has been so merciful and forgiving to me, I can choose to forgive and not let bitterness over circumstances take control of me.

Life is not perfect, but with God’s Holy Spirit living in me, I have peace and joy that was never there before. I know the Lord is always there to guide me. I have seen Him work miracles in my life and the life of my family. His Word does not return void.

The scripture that I learned in childhood is a great encouragement and I’m grateful for my parents’ faithfulness in taking me to church so many years ago. God has done some wonderful things in my life and He is good….all the time.

Daddy’s Girl Comes to Know the Father

2009-06-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

My name is Ginger Turner. I was born in New Mexico, but because my father was in the military, we moved around and at the age of eleven, finally landed in Colorado, where my dad retired.

While growing up, my parents–although good people, were not Christians. I can remember parties at our house where beer was the drink of choice, but to my recollection, no one got drunk. Life was as American as apple pie and we lived a “normal” good life, like everyone else.

Then my father got cancer... This fact caused him to re-evaluate his life. His mother and sister were Godly Christians who had been telling him of Christ for years. My dad finally began to listen to them and surrendered his life to God in salvation. Our lives totally changed from then on! We were not the all-American family we once were. We became “church people”! My dad’s cancer was successfully removed and my dad joined a Southern Baptist Church. He jumped in to serving God with both feet! He ran a bus route and I was his little helper. I was a daddy’s girl and would have done anything for him. When around the age of seven he asked me if I wanted to be a Christian too, I was all for it! I made a profession of faith, was baptized and I lived this “good girl” Christian life for the next few years.

Unbeknownst to me, my father was diagnosed with Leukemia and was told that he had two years to live. It was at this time that my father retired from the Air Force and we moved to Colorado. We found an Independent Baptist Church just a few blocks from our house and became members there. Once again, my father submerged himself in the work of the church. This “daddy’s girl” continued to help him and serve with him. I attended our church’s Christian School, taught children’s church and had my own bus route. I even witnessed to my friends. Christianity was a way of life for me.

Two years passed this way and my dad was still with us. I still did not know of his Leukemia diagnosis. Sitting in church one Sunday, for the first time I began to realize that I was living my life for my dad and not for God. I understood the price that Jesus Christ paid for sin on the cross and saw it has something He did for the whole world. But now I saw it as something personal...for me and for my sin. I was beginning to see how I had been so proud of my good behavior. I thought I was better than others because I never got into trouble, and I had memorized so much of God’s Word. That day, I saw the Truth. My pride became filthy to me, as it already was in God’s sight.

There is a portion of scripture that revealed to me my heart and my condition: Matthew 7:21-23 “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

It was then that I knew that my profession of faith was not based on God’s Word. I had not been doing the Father’s will, I was doing my earthly father’s will. My dad meant so much to me that I did not want to shame him. I thought that if I confessed that my salvation profession was a lie, that I would embarrass him. Everyone, (I thought) believed me to be a good little Christian girl. But I was just religious....and lost.

For a month I wrestled with God over this. I prayed many times privately and secretly for God to save me. I had already been living “the Christian life” so what was the difference if I were to get saved at home and keep on living as I had? I was so consumed with what others thought that I didn’t want to admit that I had been living a lie. At one point, I became so distraught about this, that I considered suicide. Right away you know that this confusion is not coming from God, but from Satan himself! I began to realize that I was still trying to do things my own way rather than God’s and I knew my sin of pride was the worst sin imaginable! That is the same sin that Satan had! I knew too, that I deserved to pay for that sin, just as Satan will, in a hell prepared for him. At that point in my life, I told myself that I would rather pay for my own sin than to confess the truth about myself and embarrass my earthly father. What lies Satan can cause us to believe!

Then God began to show me His love! I had known John 3:16 for so many years, but when the Holy Spirit tells you that verse ....it means something more! I knew that God did not create hell for humans. He gave His only Son to pay for our sin so that we wouldn’t have to go to the devil’s hell. He loved me that much! And here I was...about to throw that away.

Finally, I let go. Satan tried one last time to keep me from going forward in church that next service. The thought, “But, everyone will think that you are a liar”, crossed my mind. Then I thought, “I am a liar!” That night as a 13 year old girl, I confessed my sin of pride and accepted God’s wonderful gift of grace! I was saved in an instant! From then on my life was filled with a purpose for Him. This genuine salvation was much different than what I had before. Now, I was able to trust in God and not in man!

When my dad finally told me of his leukemia, I knew that God loved me and that He would take care of that too...according to His perfect, loving will. I was still “a daddy’s girl” but I had given him to God too. Though my heart was sad, I had a peace that I could not put into words.
Looking back, I know that God preserved my father’s life so that I could find real salvation, because he was the example of a Godly Christian in my life. My dad lived a surrendered life to God and accepted his terminal disease. He lived 13 years with leukemia.....11 years more than the doctors had first given him. They could not understand how he lived so long. I know how.....

Today, more than thirty years later, I can look back and tell you that even when I may fail Him, that God is a faithful Father and will bring us through every trial that comes our way. He has given me more and more reasons to love and trust in Him. “His yoke is easy and His burden is light.”

What am I here for?

I have a purpose to live my life for God and to help others who do not know Christ as their personal Saviour, to come to know Him. I have a burden for teenagers, because that was the most critical time in my life and I know how Satan wants to ruin young people’s lives.

I am so thankful that when I saw myself as a wretched sinner...that God helped me see His love for me at the same time. He is still there, waiting to show others the same love and forgiveness.

"Seek and Ye Shall Find"

2009-05-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

My name is Becky Gove and I am a Junior in our Christian School. My family has always gone to a “Christian” church. When I was very young, while stationed in Delaware, we attended a Baptist church that practiced the “pray after me”, easy believism type of salvation. Playing along, I said a few prayers like that while living in Delaware. Then we moved back to North Dakota and started coming to NTBC.

I always wanted to get saved, but I didn’t have a true desire to search for it. Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall seek for me with all your heart.” When I was about fifteen, our family started to go through a very hard time. Our family was breaking apart and we were living separated from my Dad. It was during this time that I started to see what a selfish person I really was. Mrs. Turner talked to me and I realized how wrong I was and tried to change. My attitude changed on the outside but I was still not willing to truly search for God. I began to become apathetic and bitter. Because of my apathy, I quit caring about God, spiritual things and His salvation. I started getting hard and bitter toward God and His people.

As the months went by, the world started to look more and more tempting and church less and less attractive. Through a lot of circumstances and changes in our family’s life, I came to a crossroad where I said, “I am not going to waste my life away in this church, where everything is foreign to me! I am finished with searching for God and failing. I am either going to search for God and find salvation or go into the world and do what I really want to do. ” It was then, that I really began to get serious with God. I prayed that God would look at my heart and show me what I needed. He knew me better than I knew myself and I trusted that He would really speak to me. For once, the Bible became more than just words on a page! The words became personal to me. I was starting to understand spiritual things more and I was really seeing God as the Amazing God that He is.

I was actually opening my heart to Truth.

One Monday night during this struggle, my mom and I were watching a crime show. I started to wonder how people could do these awful things to one another, when they were just like them! Then it clicked! I’m just like them! I’m capable of doing the very same things. My sin bound me to Satan and I was doing whatever Satan told me to do! At that moment, I felt so ashamed before God, so unworthy for Him to even listen to my prayers. But in His Word He says, “Call unto me and I will answer thee;” I didn’t want to pray another emotional prayer asking God for salvation. I wanted the real thing! I told my sister how I didn’t want to make another false profession and she lovingly told me that I was putting faith in myself and not trusting God to do what He said He would do! I thought for a minute about the meaning of what she said, and began to pray. I begged God to forgive me I told Him that I didn’t wanted to be chained to Satan anymore. I was truly sorry for my sins! He did forgive me and freed me from my sins on Tuesday, August 26, 2008. I am not the same girl! Now, I am trying every day to thank Him for His oh, so great salvation and to praise His holy name. I want to do His will for me. Because He washed me clean, my life has changed forever and I’m thankful!

All Because One Sunday School Teacher Never Gave Up!

2009-03-02T14:18:00.000-08:00

Bonnie Hays is the sweet wife of our dear Bro. Mike Hays, the Biblical Counselor. Our church has supported the Hays for many years and it is a great joy to share Bonnie's testimony of salvation with our readers.

What a privilege to give my testimony for our Lord. He has been so good to me through the years.

I was not born into a Christian family and seldom went to church as a child, unless someone came by to pick me up. This was all before church bus ministries started. As a child, I often wondered what life was all about. I thought....you live and you die.... but was that all there was to life?

As a teenager, an Assembly of God church came by to pick us up for church. Across the street was a Baptist church. My sisters and I would ride the Assembly of God bus and then cross the street to the Baptist Church! It wasn't long and they soon stopped picking us up.

When I was old enough to drive, my parents would let me go to church only on Sunday morning. My Sunday School teacher began to visit me in my home. She took a real interest in my life and as she witnessed to me, the Lord began dealing with me.

I had so many questions and she was very patient to answer them for me. She showed me from the Bible that I was a sinner and needed to be saved. Even after I was promoted from her class to the next Sunday School class, she never left me alone. For three years she kept in touch with me.

When I was 19 years old, she came to my house and told me that she would not leave until I got ready to go to a Revival service with her. It was in that service..... that I walked the aisle and accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour!

He has been so good to me all these years, since 1958 when I was born again. He has been with me through good times and hard times. My direction in life has changed completely! I love to go to church! My faith continues to grow! What a wonderful Saviour!

I hope you know Him too.

From the North Dakota Prairie to a Village In South Africa:

2009-02-02T10:37:00.000-08:00

Whiter Than Snow

2008-10-03T08:31:00.001-07:00

The Rocky Mountains were a beautiful setting for summer youth camp. Peacefully nestled in evergreen forests and surrounded by tall mountain peaks, it also proved to be a perfect place for God to speak to me. No, I didn’t hear a voice from heaven, but I did hear God’s word preached in a powerful way every night. I began to become very bothered that I didn’t really know God.

You might think that my being a missionary daughter (my parents are Baptist missionaries in Prague, Czech Republic), I would automatically know God. But I needed to be “saved” like anyone else. I knew about these things because of my upbringing, but it wasn’t until that summer at youth camp, that I began to be seriously concerned about my real spiritual condition. After returning to Prague with my parents, I thought a lot about my life and about God. I was uneasy and unhappy. Something was wrong. I spoke many times with my Mom and did Bible studies with my Dad. Everyday I listened to a radio program we access by internet from the states called, “Unshackled”. I listened intently to the true stories of people whose lives were changed by the Lord when they got saved. But the changed lives of the members of our little Czech church and their genuine love for the Lord impressed me even more. They had something that I didn’t have. Here I was, the missionary daughter, and it was me that was lost! At one point, I was so upset I cried as I talked to my mom. She prayed with me to be saved, but nothing changed. I did this once with my dad too and again with a pastor’s wife from Germany. But nothing was ever different. I knew I was not saved and my parents knew it as well. So what was my problem?

... I declare unto you the gospel
...how that Christ died for our sins
...And that he was buried,
and that he rose again the third day
according to the scriptures:
1 Corinthians 15:1-4

As I look back now, I know that I simply didn’t consider myself a sinner. Sure, if you asked me if I was a sinner, I would say, “Yes”. But my answer was nothing more than the correct answer to a quiz question. I did not sense the seriousness of my sin. After all, I had Christian parents and had been attending church all of my life. I knew nothing of the party lifestyle of my Mom nor of the hippy lifestyle of my Dad before they got saved. Certainly, I was not like the unreligous Czech people, who didn’t even believe in God. So what was my sin.and why was it so bad?

One Sunday, my Dad preached about the hope that accompanies true faith, something I didn’t have. After church, I didn’t speak to anyone. All afternoon, I just wanted to be alone. Sensing something was wrong, my Mom asked me if I wanted to talk. (She already knew what was bothering me!) We sat on the couch by the window and for the next couple of hours reviewed many verses from the Bible.

For ALL have sinned
and come short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death;
but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:23

For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,
but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

The things we read and talked about were all familiar but God had a surprise for me when we came to the following verse:

For whosoever shall keep the whole law,
and yet offend in one point,
he is guilty of all.

James 2:10

.

I had heard this verse before also , but the impact suddenly was very different. “Who me? Guilty of ALL?!” ... murder, idolatry, adultery, lying, stealing, etc?!” I finally saw that it wasn’t a question of how much wrong I had done but whether I had broken God’s law. My little sins were just as much against God’s law as big sins. God, who is holy and righteous, could not allow me, a sinner, into heaven. I was guilty. I was lost.

The amazing thing about feeling truly guilty is that, what had been so difficult before - faith - became very easy. I found that I could believe God because I needed God. He really did love me. He really would save me - if I called upon Him. He saved me, just like He promised.

Purge me with hyssop,
and I shall be clean:
wash me, and I shall be
whiter than snow.
Psalm 51:7

...Unto him that loved us,
and washed us from our sins
in his own blood,
Revelation 1:5

Because of Jesus Christ and the blood He shed for my sins,
I am now, truly, whiter than snow!