"Seek and Ye Shall Find"

My name is Becky Gove and I am a Junior in our Christian School. My family has always gone to a “Christian” church. When I was very young, while stationed in Delaware, we attended a Baptist church that practiced the “pray after me”, easy believism type of salvation. Playing along, I said a few prayers like that while living in Delaware. Then we moved back to North Dakota and started coming to NTBC.

I always wanted to get saved, but I didn’t have a true desire to search for it. Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall seek for me with all your heart.” When I was about fifteen, our family started to go through a very hard time. Our family was breaking apart and we were living separated from my Dad. It was during this time that I started to see what a selfish person I really was. Mrs. Turner talked to me and I realized how wrong I was and tried to change. My attitude changed on the outside but I was still not willing to truly search for God. I began to become apathetic and bitter. Because of my apathy, I quit caring about God, spiritual things and His salvation. I started getting hard and bitter toward God and His people.

As the months went by, the world started to look more and more tempting and church less and less attractive. Through a lot of circumstances and changes in our family’s life, I came to a crossroad where I said, “I am not going to waste my life away in this church, where everything is foreign to me! I am finished with searching for God and failing. I am either going to search for God and find salvation or go into the world and do what I really want to do. ” It was then, that I really began to get serious with God. I prayed that God would look at my heart and show me what I needed. He knew me better than I knew myself and I trusted that He would really speak to me. For once, the Bible became more than just words on a page! The words became personal to me. I was starting to understand spiritual things more and I was really seeing God as the Amazing God that He is.

I was actually opening my heart to Truth.

One Monday night during this struggle, my mom and I were watching a crime show. I started to wonder how people could do these awful things to one another, when they were just like them! Then it clicked! I’m just like them! I’m capable of doing the very same things. My sin bound me to Satan and I was doing whatever Satan told me to do! At that moment, I felt so ashamed before God, so unworthy for Him to even listen to my prayers. But in His Word He says, “Call unto me and I will answer thee;” I didn’t want to pray another emotional prayer asking God for salvation. I wanted the real thing! I told my sister how I didn’t want to make another false profession and she lovingly told me that I was putting faith in myself and not trusting God to do what He said He would do! I thought for a minute about the meaning of what she said, and began to pray. I begged God to forgive me I told Him that I didn’t wanted to be chained to Satan anymore. I was truly sorry for my sins! He did forgive me and freed me from my sins on Tuesday, August 26, 2008. I am not the same girl! Now, I am trying every day to thank Him for His oh, so great salvation and to praise His holy name. I want to do His will for me. Because He washed me clean, my life has changed forever and I’m thankful!