God Is So Good

My mother died when I was eight. Up until that time, I felt we were a “good Christian” home. I thought I was a member of the church we went to, because my parents went there. If you were to ask me when I was a teenager if I was saved, I would have told you that I got saved when my mom led me to the Lord when I was eight. To be honest, I can’t even remember if there was ever a time when my mom actually sat down with me and “led me to the Lord.” I even told Bible camp leaders that my mom led me to the Lord, just so I could be a junior counselor for a week.

When I was ten, my dad remarried and life changed 180 degrees. At first, we still attended the same church as before, but as time went by, we dropped out. My parents found another church to attend and after a while we dropped out of church attendance again. Other than the yearly Bible camp I attended, we really didn’t go to church for most of my teenage years.

I ran away from home three or four times, with the last time being permanent, when I was eighteen. It was then that I found out that you can’t run away from your problems, because they only get bigger that way. I had a mouth like a sailor and absolutely no peace or joy. I was a full blown rebel inside my heart.

In my Junior year of High School, the Lord began to deal with me. First, I wanted to know, if you could really KNOW, that you were saved and on your way to Heaven. How did people know that for a certainty? I also wanted to go to church again, but I did not think that if I asked, that I would be allowed to go… so I didn’t ask.

In my Senior year in High School, I signed up for the Air Force. I was terrified of a job interview and I wanted out of the house fast! I wanted a date for basic training in June and instead, I got one in August. The thought of being at home for a whole summer did not appeal to me. So, I moved out (ran away) in March of my senior year.

A family took me in and became my “adopted parents.” They took me to church and helped me clean up my act a bit. I “rededicated” my life to God, but there was still no change inside. I still hungered to know, if you COULD KNOW, that you were saved. How could I know that for sure?

With much fear and trembling, I went to basic training. I received no mail from anyone for the first five of the six weeks I was there. I was lonely. When I got to Tech School, I promptly wrote to everyone in my address book, sharing my new address. I wanted to hear from somebody! Anybody!

Again, when I arrived at Grand Forks AFB, in North Dakota, I did the same thing. This time the people who ran the Bible camp we went to as kids, sent me a Bible correspondence course. The first one was on how you could know that you were saved! It described repentance as a change of mind and it told me how I needed to repent of my sin against God. So, I followed the instructions in that Bible study. In January 1996, I got down on my knees in my Air Force dorm room and asked God to forgive me of my sins… and He did! A great weight fell off my shoulders! 1 John 5:13 says “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may KNOW that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.” I came to a place where I finally KNEW!

However, because I was not attending a good church, I did not grow much in my new life. I didn’t understand many things and I didn’t really read the Bible. I did have a very hard-to-read NIV Bible with all the verse numbers in and amongst the text. I had a hard time reading it and following along when I heard preaching too.

I really began to grow, when my husband-to-be found the New Testament Baptist Church in Larimore and we began attending. I even bought a new King James Version of the Bible! I finally had the whole Bible and one I could read!

The Lord has been so good to me! I thank Him for what He has done in my life in spite of who and what I was! I can see now how His hand was guiding me, even when I could not have cared less about Him. He used some hard situations in life, to bring me to a place of repentance. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted.” Ps 119:71a It brought me to a place of seeking after the Lord.

I’m a blessed woman today!