My Condition Required a Physician...

Hi my name is Theresa Lange. I'm a missionary wife to Thailand and I'd like to share with you, my testimony of salvation.

My condition required a Physician: The Great Physician.

First He began showing me my need, and then He met my need...

While in my second year of college, God began showing me that academics, activities, and athletics could not give me lasting joy. I had from the world's perspective, an ideal relationship with my boyfriend and a strong faith in my religion but I could not find peace within my heart. I was unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and there was a void in my life.

I kept myself very busy, so that I could forget about this hollowness within me. In the '92-'93 school year, while attending NDSCS in Wahpeton, ND, I began to notice the convictions of my new resident director. Her standards were higher than mine and she was never hesitant to talk to others about God. She made me feel uncomfortable, because I had always compared myself to others to gauge how good I was. I didn't match up to her Christianity. She would invite folks to church and have Bible studies with the other college students. I would see her reading her Bible in the student lounge of the dormitory, when I went for my morning run. She seemed to live above the circumstances in life with a smile on her face and a genuine concern for others and not herself. God was using her to draw me to Him. I wanted what she had.

I thought that if I started inviting dorm students to my church and if I began to read my Bible and pray that I would get what she had. She had a close walk with God which was evident in the way she beamed with joy and in her desire to have Bible studies with us which showed her true concern for us. We could come to her when we had a problem and knew that when she said she would pray for us-- that she would.

Later, the following spring, I graduated from the two-year college and began attending Moorhead State University. I tried to continue to raise my standards up like those of my old resident director and continued to read my Bible and pray each day. Also, I began trying to get some distance between me and sinful vices. I tried to distance myself from my boyfriend and others in order to not be pulled into sin. I really wanted to get close to God.

Through this, God was showing me how sin did not come from without, but from within my own heart (Matthew 15:19). Sin was still ruling within my heart. Worse yet, all the Bible reading and prayer did not help me to get closer to God. It seemed like God was unattainable, distant, and aloof. Being in a state of spiritual darkness, I groped for anything that seemed spiritual. Thus, attending church during the week to supplement going to church on Sunday seemed only logical. God was showing me that even my devotion to my religion was not able to help me change to get victory over sin or to have closeness to God.

Still however, when push came to shove, I was still trusting in the goodness of self and my righteous acts to take me to heaven. Somehow, I thought that surely all the good deeds and how good I tried to be, would out-weigh the bad that I had done.

Finally, in the spring of '94, God brought someone from the Fargo Baptist Church to teach me the Bible. One evening, while studying the Bible over the phone, one thing particularly struck my heart. It was the sword of the Word of God. After reading Hebrews 4:12, the person having Bible study with me said, "God is a discerner of the heart. He knows what sin is there even when others don't." This was a revelation to me. I was trying to live right outwardly, but in my heart was sin and God could see it! I couldn't fool God. I had fooled myself and other campus students into thinking that I was a pretty good person, but before God I was GUILTY. For the first time I saw myself the way God saw me; as a sinner, offensive in His sight (Romans 3:10, 23; 6:23; Isaiah 59:2). None of my righteous acts could merit me heaven (Ephesians 2:8, 9; Titus 3:5). They were only as filthy rags in His sight (Isaiah 64:6).

Only putting my complete trust in Christ could save me (John 3:18, 36). In order to place my complete trust in God to save me from an eternity in hell, I needed to let go of the trust I had in myself and in my religion to save me, and place all my trust in Christ (Acts 4:12). I needed to be willing to let go of my sinful ways in order to embrace Him with my whole heart (Luke 13:5). That night I surrendered to God making Him my Lord, the ruler of my life. His Word, the Bible would need to direct my ways, not my own-thinking. That night, April 4^th, 1994, upon calling on Him to become my Lord and Savior, God saved me from the destruction I was headed for – hell (Romans 10:9-10, 13; Revelation 21:8).

God has continued to shape and mold me through His Word, other fellow Christians, and the circumstances he has allowed in my life (2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:29). He uses these to seek surrender in all areas of my life to His control. He desires to have my whole heart.