One Mixed Up Woman Meets the Mender of Broken Hearts

Written By Dianne Cobb


It's hard to not share a bit of my past life when talking about how I got saved. I don't like thinking about what it used to be like, because I like the new now, a lot better!

Before I got saved, I was fearful and angry at the whole the world. I grew up in a messed up family. My parents were divorced. My mom left one day and never came back. My new mom didn't like me and to top it off, my dad was a divorced and remarried pastor.

What a huge ball of confusion I was! Growing up in a preacher's home, I heard a lot of "church" talk and "religious" words. All I knew was that I didn't want to go to hell. I was scared to death of God and the devil. In my little girl mind, all I really wanted was to know God loved me and could see me and help me. I wanted to believe that so bad.

But, I wondered if my parents who could see me struggled to have a hard time loving me, then how could God, ever love me? I was convinced I was not worth it and there was something wrong with me.

I can't remember a time when I was not painfully aware that I was a sinner. I was told this often and I'm glad for that now. I knew I had to tell God I was sorry. So I did that every night before I went to sleep, or there was a thunder storm, or I was afraid. I must have "gotten saved" a thousand times when I was a little girl.

I was so afraid that Jesus was going to come back and I was going to be left behind. I had no peace and it made me angry that I didn't know how to make things right with God. I thought there had to be something I could do, that was good enough and right enough, for God to notice and love me for it.

I didn't know these verses then:

Ephesians 2:8-9  "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

After my dad got out of the ministry I was almost a teenager. I remember my dad trying to find a church for us to go to. Back then, there were not many churches that wanted a divorced and remarried former pastor in their church. We went to a lot of different churches trying them out. Most of them didn't want us.  I came to the conclusion that church people were some of nicest
and meanest people on the earth! This made me wonder what being a Christian was really all about. Because we had gone to so may different churches --I became even more confused. I tried everything these churches told me to do. I prayed prayers. I took catechism classes. I got baptized. I tried to speak in tongues. I tried it all. But, nothing filled the empty place in my heart.

By time I was a teen I had a pretty judgmental spirit. But, I still felt the same way I did when I was a little girl. I just wanted to know God loved me… Dianne and could see me and help me. I knew something was missing. I longed for the truth and began really seeking the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:13 " And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

I am so thankful for the things God allowed in my life. I am amazed how He led in my life and brought me to a place where I could hear the truth about my sin. I'm so thankful that the God of the universe--- the God who created everything, saw my seeking heart and helped me.

I met my husband at church of course. He was the nicest guy I'd ever met and he came from a wonderful church going family. For a girl who felt like she was from the wrong side of the tracks so to speak, this was a big deal. We got married and the Air Force took us to Germany for three years. While we were there, the only English speaking church was an Independent Baptist church. So that's where we went and that's where we heard the truth.

I'd never been to that kind of church before.  Most churches I had gone to told me I better be careful because I could lose my salvation. There was an invisible line somewhere and I better not cross it. This caused a lot of fear in my heart. I knew I could never stay good, long enough to keep myself saved and I hated living that way.

This preaching was different. It was right from the King James Bible. The preacher talked about repentance and faith. He talked about eternal life. He talked like it really was-- a forever thing. I started seeing things differently. I began to think that maybe there was a purpose for my life. Maybe God could love me. Maybe being a real Christian was different than I thought it was.

The night I got saved. I had come to a place in my life where I had stopped blaming all my problems and attitudes on my past and on others. I was in a church where the truth was being preached every service. Not man's opinion or just religious talking but truth, straight out of the Bible.

The night I got saved I knew God was speaking to my heart. I was so convicted about my sin I almost didn't know what to do with myself.

I saw my sin and how ugly it was. My unbelief and pride were huge. I couldn't justify myself any longer by saying I would trust God and get saved if it were not for my parents or my messed up past.  It was my sin that put Jesus on the cross and I knew it! It was my sin that was so wicked in God's eyes. I had a choice to make that night. Either hang on to my past, my pride and unbelief or give everything to God.

I repented of my sin that night. When I prayed I told the Lord that I didn't know how it all worked, but any faith I had… I put it all in Him! And... He saved me! He gave me a brand new life and a brand new heart. He didn't just fix up my old beat up scarred and broken heart. He gave me a new one!

I love these verses in Psalms because this is exactly what God did for me the night I got saved.

Psalm 40:2-3   "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD."

God took me out of a horrible pit of confusion, fear, anger and sin. He gave me a reason to live. And I have been singing a new song ever since.

I'm so thankful God reached down and saved a sinner like me. I owe Him everything I am, everything I have and every moment, of every day I have on this earth.